literally something a serpent with tiny claws and/or legs would say
i had a crush on this guy and i decided to pull a Pavlov on him by offering him whenever i saw him this brand of candy he seemed to really like and after a while whenever he saw me he got excited for a second then you could see his expression shift to wondering the why the hell was he so happy to see me and i swear it was the evilest thing but also the most hilarious i made a guy like me by conditioning him into associating me to a candy he liked
may the merciful lord on high hear our prayers and DELIVER
i wanna get super rich so i can do cool stuff like tip waiters $1000 or pay off people’s student loans for fun
*goes to england*
me: excuse me, what time is it?
brit: time wots that m8?
*big ben chimes*
everyone starts to count the bongs on their fingers*
brit: OI IT’S 7 BONG
Do y’all know how fucking sad this makes me? leave people alone. This literally made me cry. FUCKING LEAVE PEOPLE ALONE?! I hate this world. Too fucked up, even for me
you guys!!!!!!! this turned out to be a nice story for once!!!!! so many people were saying nice things about her that she ended up makin an instagram just to see them!!!
Man gets a hard-on at the worst possible moment